


Undisclosed Desires

by xFictionalDesiresx



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, affair, s7, sexual stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 07:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xFictionalDesiresx/pseuds/xFictionalDesiresx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no denying that they were far from perfect. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All the killing, the manipulation, all those lies over the years was proof of that.</p>
<p>But this, this was something else.</p>
<p>The way his fingers crawled up her skin, dipping under fabric and sliding into places that were no longer his to explore. The way her mouth dragged and lingered on his body, pushing into places that she remembers he loved.  The way they ran and hid away, spending hours upon hours trapped in unimaginable bliss, reigniting flames that were supposed to be burned out.</p>
<p>The dark corners, the longing glances, the weekends away.<br/>The excuses they gave to those at home whilst they buried themselves under the sheets. Over and over and over again.<br/>The lives they were putting in danger.</p>
<p>It was all wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undisclosed Desires

There was no denying that they were far from perfect. 

 

All the killing, the manipulation, all those lies over the years was proof of that.

But this, this was something else.

The way his fingers crawled up her skin, dipping under fabric and sliding into places that were no longer his to explore. The way her mouth dragged and lingered on his body, pushing into places that she remembers he loved. The way they ran and hid away, spending hours upon hours trapped in unimaginable bliss, reigniting flames that were supposed to be burned out.

The dark corners, the longing glances, the weekends away.  
The excuses they gave to those at home whilst they buried themselves under the sheets. Over and over and over again.  
The lives they were putting in danger.

It was all wrong.

“I thought you were leaving” she asks, her breath hitching at his tongue swiping over the curve of her neck.  
She feels him chuckle against her before muttering his answer into her hair, his hand twisting through each strand.

“I was” his other hand glides around her waist pulling her in closer. “But you seem to have changed my mind”.

He brings his head further up her neck, planting kisses on every inch of skin, until finally his lips press onto hers. There is urgency behind them and she can’t be quite sure if it’s due to the time apart or the risk of getting caught.

And for some reason that confusion makes her want this more.

Makes her pull him in deeper, makes her press herself against him a little bit harder, makes her agree to see him again.

Just like it did in the first place.

It happened when one night the pain just got too much. The dark got too lonely. Everything they were doing had failed, again, and she just needed to see him.

It led her to his door, dragging him out, convincing him to drink and making him spin her around until either of them wasn’t able to take a solid breath. And it was amazing how good that felt. How free it could make her feel. The pain, the failure, everything she was pushing away for the last three years just slipping away.

And deep down she knew that the alcohol had nothing to do with it.

It’s probably why she didn’t pull away when he leaned in.

Why she actually encouraged him, with her hand wrapping around his neck.

Why she let a moan escape her when she found his lips crashing into hers and his hands sliding, well, everywhere. 

Why when she pulled back for a doubtful second with a “no this is wrong” all she needed to hear was his “no it’s so so right” to find herself diving back in again.

The fire, the thrill, the rush, it was all so euphoric.

It’s what she wanted. It’s what she needed.

She just needed him. 

So whilst the girls were tucked up in bed and there was a sleeping Alaric by her side, she grabbed her keys and coat and drove her way a little out of town to sink into the sheets in a rundown motel with Stefan.

And at first it was exciting, it was fun and she couldn’t think of why it was wrong.

But, now that the huntress had retuned she couldn’t think of anything worse.

It wasn’t only her that was in danger.

It was almost as if this is what she needed to bring her back down to reality. For her to realise what is was, and who it was, that she was doing.

“Stefan” she moans, sliding her fingers through his hair and using her grip to remove him from his fixed position on her neck.

He lets out a grunt and she feels his lips press harder into her, his hands gripping tighter.

“Stefan”

Ignoring her he continues his ministrations. Teeth nipping onto her shoulder, pulling down the strap before moving lower, lower until he is far enough down to swipe his tongue over her collarbone. The hum he lets outs sends her into a flurry and she is helpless as her head swings back and her mouth parts on a gasp.

It’s not soon enough when he begins to play around with her dress, his fingers twisting in the middle before pulling and ripping the fabric in half. Almost instantly his lips are on the now exposed skin, replacing the subtle breeze with the warmth of his breath and the firm kisses he is planting onto her.

She finds her hand pulling him in instead of pushing him away, her resolve melting as he melts into her. The fires blazing up her spine consume her, especially when his hands join in on the fun and begin running up and down her thighs. But before she gets too lost in it, and she is already teetering on that edge, she tries again.

“Stefan”

Once again he sighs against her and simultaneously she finds herself thrown onto the bed, hands pinned above her head, as Stefan kisses her into the sheets. His lips travelling down, down, down. It’s as if he is doing this on purpose, he is trying to avoid the conversation he knows is coming.

When he grazes over the lace fabric on her hips, nails tearing at the seams, she decides enough is enough.

She uses her grip in his hair to once again pull him away, this time attracting his attention.

With a sigh he begins to crawl back up her, placing a few kisses as he goes, until he is level with her.

He stares down at her and frowns, eyebrows fully furrowed just like they used to be. Caroline reaches up and runs her thumbs over them softly, stopping abruptly as his hands grip around her wrists, pulling her away.

“Don’t do this to me” he says, demands almost.

Her eye brows rise in question “Do what?”

Stefan narrows his eyes and drops his voice lower, more demanding, more serious.

“Don’t play with me Caroline”

“How can I play if I don’t what the game is?”

He looks at her for a second longer before releasing her hands and removing himself from her completely. She sits up and looks on as he begins to pace the motel room, picking up his shirt and shoes as he goes.

“Leaving without saying goodbye?” she asks, swinging her legs off the side of the bed, hands by her side. “Not very gentlemen of you”

He lets out a cold laugh, continuing to pick up belongings they left ripped on the floor.

“And neither is sleeping with a engaged women”

“Is that all I am to you now?”

“Is that what you want to be?”

“I don’t know what I want”

He finally stands up and turns to face her, jaw ticking and eyes narrowed. The look is nothing but anger and it is more than enough to make her just want to pull him back into bed and apologise to him over and over again. Tell him that she was stupid for thinking what she was thinking.

“That’s the point Caroline! You don’t know what you want, but I do” He throws his arms out in frustration.

“And what is it that you want?” she asks, raising her voice to show her place in this argument.

“You know what I want”

She rolls her eyes and snorts, turning away from him and muttering under her breath.

“Yeah, you want her”

“God Caroline is that what you think?” he is shouting now and she is a little taken back by the pure anger rippling in his voice.

“Do you really think that after all this time I would just give up on us? Do you really believe that after what we’ve been through, everything that has come our way, that I would just turn my back on this? And for her?” 

 

Using her hands she pushes herself up from the bed and marches towards him, head held high and voice just as loud as his.

“Yes, I do Stefan, because that is exactly what happened. You left me, again. You did turn your back on me, on us, on this. You walked away when you had the chance to fight for it.”

This time he takes a step forward.

“I did it for you! Everything I did was for you”

“Yet you still go back to her”

“Because you keep going back to him”

She takes one more step towards him so they are now chest to chest.

“I’m not going back for him. I’m going back for them”

She had to shut her eyes, physically move, in order to keep her calm. Yes, this is what she wanted, for it to stop, but she didn’t want it to happen like this.

When she opens up her eyes she sees him staring back at her, the darkness fading and his shoulders slumping back into what can be considered relaxed. Well as close as he can.

He nods his head slowly and licks his teeth, letting his eyes fall to the ground in understanding.

“For the girls”

“Yes” she replies, softer.

He brings his eyes back up to meet hers.

“That’s why you’re pulling away, for them?”

She nods.

He takes a small pause before speaking again. “You know what I really want, Caroline?”

She falls silent, gazing at him under her eyelashes, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

“I want you and I want all of you. No more late night road trips, no more dark corners, no more running, no more hiding. I just want to be with you, to love you and to have you love me in return. I want a life with you Caroline and not the one we are living now.”

“That’s what I want to” she replies, clutching her chest, trying to stop the aching. It fails.

“Then why are we still doing this? Why are we still treating this like some kind of affair? Why won’t you just accept that me and you are always going to happen”

With both hands he grabs the sides of her face and lifts her head up gently, thumbs caressing as he goes. There is a change in his eyes, a softer glint, and she can’t help but take it as a sign of hope. It scares her to take it as anything else.

Because she knows what she is about to do.

And if the pain is crippling her she can only imagine what he will feel.

She swallows tightly and flicks her eyes up to meet his.

“If I tell you yes, would you leave?”

Stefan stares at her dazed. If this was any other circumstance she would be laughing at his confusion.

“If I said yes, if I agreed to start this again. If I chose to leave him and chose you, if I told you that I love you and I have this whole entire time. If I confessed that you are the one thing on this entire earth that makes me so scared yet so alive at the same time. If I gave you what you wanted, if I gave you me and all of me. Would you still run? If you had to would you leave?”

As she finishes she feels his grip lighten, watches as his eyes fall closed, hears him sigh. Right now he is a mix of worry and guilt.

He doesn’t even have to say anything and she knows exactly what’s on his mind, knows what his answer is. Just like always.

Letting out her own sigh, she raises her hands and grips onto the lapels of his shirt he put back on a few minutes before.

Her voice is heavy and tired “We can’t do this anymore Stefan. Not now, not when so many people are in danger. You said so yourself there are kids involved now”.

He nods.

“You’re right, I can’t do this anymore”

His hands wrap around her wrists as he pulls her away, pushing on them a little as he places them by her sides causing her take an involuntary step back.

Despite wanting to take charge of this again, she gives him her full attention.

“I can’t stand here and listen to you throw all of this away. I can’t just wait for you to realise what it is that you are doing. All of this, this life you have built for yourself, it’s a fantasy Caroline. Just a human fantasy. But I’m here, I am real, we are real. And I hope one day you realize that. But in the mean time I can’t stand around and watch this fairytale crumble.”

It doesn’t register exactly what he has said until she sees him start to move. He gives her one last long look, steps to the side, recollects his things from the chair and strides over to the door.

For a moment he stops, hand resting on the handle, before turning his head back to meet her.

“The offer is still on the table, Europe. I hope you change your mind”.

And then he is gone, slamming the door shut behind him, leaving her alone in the silence.

This is all wrong.

But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a random drabble based off a prompt I got on tumblr! There may be a part 2 if you enjoy!


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